How to Lose A Diehard Fan in Three Easy Steps

It is no surprise to anybody that knows me that I am a diehard Red Sox fans. There are few things that could ever make a fan like me quit on a team, or in my case, take a sabbatical. Now, this is nothing to gloss over; I'm the type of fan who thinks the Celtics will mount a comeback when down 25 in the third even though they are in the middle of an awful season... I... just... don't... quit. So, in light of my sabbatical (and that is exactly what this is, a one year sabbatical from Red Sox fandom) I will reveal just how the Red Sox were able to accomplish this.

First off, the 7-20 collapse in September has absolutely nothing to do with this decision, at least directly. The Red Sox collapse actually made me feel good in a sort of, "I know I shouldn't, but I am SO interested in visiting that train wreck site from last week." I grew up with the Red Sox of the 90s; my most vivid in-person memories of the Red Sox are of watching Roger Clemens let up a MASSIVE home run to Mark McGwire that travelled further than Magellan and watching Jeff Suppan (Red Sox version 1.0) lose several games in very Suppan-like ways (i.e. getting crushed for a few innings before relenting to a completely ineffective bullpen). In other words, I do not mind awful Red Sox baseball, in fact, it was a welcome addition and made me feel like a little boy again.

The collapse did not directly lead to this sabbatical, but some of the handling of the collapse, and the aftermath of the collapse, did. For years, the Red Sox had one constant when trying to battle funks. The one constant they had period; Tim Wakefield.

Step One: Disrespect Classy Veterans

Most of the media made a big deal of Wakefield's 200th win (and rightfully so, not many pitchers debuting today will ever come close to that milestone), but you could see the toll every unsuccessful attempt was taking on the pitcher and the team. Tim Wakefield has never tried to be anything more than what he is; a reliable middle-to-back of the rotation starter.

Tim Wakefield has, or rather, had, a chance to become the Red Sox's all-time leader in wins, but the Red Sox, who have a storied history of misusing and abusing Wakefield, saved their best (read: worst) for last; with Wakefield in striking distance of that record, the Red Sox decided to offer Wakefield a contract... err... a minor league contract. Not surprisingly, Wakefield, in the face of this embarrassment (even though he would never admit it), retired.

The Red Sox though were just getting started. The other elder statesmen on the team, Captain Jason Varitek, was offered the same minor league contract. Varitek, who had a pretty good season last year before he got hurt, is being passed over for the more youthful catchers in the system, despite none of the catchers being capable of completing a full season (and WAY too much faith being put in Ryan Lavarnway, who in no way showed he could handle a major league pitching staff).

Varitek is going to announce his retirement on Thursday, taking with him most games played, started, most home runs and most hits by a Red Sox catcher... ALL-TIME.

Step Two: Bungle Every Off Season Move

The Red Sox finally did one thing right after the epic collapse in September; firing Terry Francona. However, in the old Red Sox fashion of one step forward, two steps back, they immediately mishandled every move after that.

The Red Sox of the past couple of years have made some very confusing moves that become quite obvious after realizing the management firm that is now the Red Sox organization is just out to make headlines, "sure, let us bring aboard Carl Crawford even though there is nowhere to put him in the lineup." The Red Sox fired Terry Francona, an awful in-game manager, albeit a terrific clubhouse guy who clearly lost control of the clubhouse last year, and hired... Bobby Valentine?

WHAT?!?!?! Bobby Valentine?!?!?! The guy from the Japanese beer cans? The guy who is so unprofessional he wore a Groucho Marx mask after he was ejected from a game? Just... Just... stupid.

Valentine has spent the last few years either in Japan or on the set of baseball tonight. The more you listen to him on ESPN the more you realize he really is out of touch with the game, but it is okay, the Red Sox hired him anyways because whenever you an hire a manager who is completely out of touch with the game and can never stay more than a few years because he grinds and wears on every player like it is a college team, you have to bring him in.

Then the Red Sox let go of Papelbon, refusing to pay a salary, which, yes, would be a bit more than you would like to play, but this is the same team that overpaid DRASTICALLY for Carl Crawford the same year Jacoby Ellsbury proved his might be the best centerfielder in baseball. Some think Bard is the answer, but if you watched the end of the season, you know he is not the answer at all (oh, we moved the guy who couldn't get three outs to the starting rotation? Oh, that is gonna end well).

Instead of signing Wakefield to a real deal the Red Sox are going with the Pu Pu Platter approach and signing every bargain starter East AND West of the Mississippi, but paying them more than they would have paid Wakefield.

Step Three: Find Every Excuse in the Book

If you read all of New England media outlets this offseason you would know the Red Sox collapse was brought on by fried chicken and beer. Look, these are professional baseball players. If these guys, ON THEIR OFF DAYS, want to have some friend chicken and beer at the end of a long season then they have every right to. People who think Josh Beckett's new found diet caused the tire around his stomach to expand are also glossing over the fact it is quite difficult to run on a busted ankle, something the Red Sox and Beckett (a joint effort obviously) decided it would be best for him to pitch on, instead of giving him some rest.

The first PR move by the new helmsmen Valentine was to come out and ban alcohol from the clubhouse. Great move... really getting to the crux of the problem there. Never mind the fact you have no solid catching, no back end of the rotation, no solid bullpen, and oh yeah, no corner outfielders. But please, go right ahead of tell me you are taking away the coolers from the clubhouse.

I have been in a minor league clubhouse. I know how hard these guys work. Some of you might not think baseball is the toughest sport in the world, but all of these guys, even the "lazy" ones, bust their butts every single day to try to improve and keep themselves in shape (and they do this for more than 220 days in a row).

The average major league baseball player gets to the clubhouse at 12:30, gets some food in, stretches, runs, does some individual practice and then goes back into the clubhouse for some food/shower, then goes back out for batting practice, comes back in for pre-game meal and shower and then does everything he can for the next three+ hours to try to help his team win. He showers after the game, answers some questions and then goes home, hopefully getting to his door sometime around midnight, most nights later. If he wants a beer in the clubhouse, I promise you that beer (or four) will do more good than harm over the long run. Plus, you are a fool if you think saying "No Booze" will stop adults from getting some of Grandma's Medicine.

The Red Sox have done nothing right over the last couple of months, so please, join me in my journey of trying to watch the Red Sox with an objective eye. I am sure I will fail, but it will sure be fun to try.

-Jake

Troubling Signs Coming From Fenway

No Offense, Bad Bullpen... Troubles-a-brewin' for the Sox

Jason Varitek is on an absolute tear... and... ah... yeah... that's about it. Jason Varitek has four hits on the season, three home runs and a double. Jason Varitek was the only offense the Red Sox could muster in their suspended game against the Tampa Bay Rays.

Josh Beckett, in the first night of the game, pitched seven masterful innings, only allowing one run, but like so many starts in this early season, the Red Sox bats were unable to help out their starting pitcher.

The two most troubling signs coming from the Red Sox came in back to back half innings. Daniel Bard was able to retire the side in the tenth and the Red Sox seemed primed for the victory when they loaded the bases in the bottom of the tenth with nobody out. Normally, the man at the plate would have forced manager Joe Maddon to shake with fear, but the man at the plate, David Ortiz, has not struck fear into anybody so far this season, with the lone exceptions being Red Sox fans.

In years passed, Ortiz in extras meant two things... Game... Over. But it was not the case tonight, a weak one hopper to first and he reached on a fielder's choice, but the winning run was forced out at the plate. Then Adrian Beltre grounded into a double play.

Manny Delcarmen replaced Daniel Bard, and in a season where the bullpen has been the left Achilles heel to the red sox offensive woes, Delcarmen came in and proceeded to allow a couple of runs and just like that the Red Sox were in a hole they had to claw their way out of.

However, this is apparently not the lineup that knows how to claw for those crucial runs, and the only hit of the eleventh came off of the bat of, yup, you guessed it, Jason Varitek, who came close to going four for four with hits and home runs, but settled for the double. But the come back was not to be, and the Red Sox's disappointing season continues, but hey, at least the captains hitting... right? What? He only plays one every five games? DAMNIT

John Lackey Notches First Win as a Red Sox

Sox Back on Winning Track, but Baard/Bullpen still Shaky.

John Lackey went 6 2/3 innings while allowing two runs, both earned to grab his first victory as a member of the Red Sox. After going six shut-out innings in his first start, but having the bats disappear, the bats made backed him up in his first away performance.

The Sox got some much needed offensive help from Dustin Pedroia who is coming to be known as "ol' reliable" for the sox (2-5 with a double and a home run). They also got some help from one of the new faces. Jeremy Hermida only roped one hit, but it was a big one; a bases clearing two-out double in the eight inning that put the Sox up 6-2.

They Sox needed the hit too as Daniel Bard's troubles in the eighth inning continued. After allowing the game winning hit two games ago against the Kansas City Royals, Bard had another shaky outing at Target Field in Minnesota.

It may be all the hype he recieved as possibly the new Jonathan Papelbon has painted a target on every single one of his 98 mph+ fastballs, but so far this season he has not looked good. Against Minnesota Michael Cuddyer welcomed Bard rudely by taking a meaty slider and hooking just over the fence in left.

He did settle down though. After allowing a double to Delmon Young, Bard was able to get pinch-hitting Jim Thome to pop out to Marco Scutaro to end the threat. The shakiness almost seemed contagious as Papelbon could not get through the ninth without having to face the game-tying run in the person of that same Michael Cuddyer.

Papelbon was noticeably low in his deliver to the plate; both in arm angle and in stature. He was getting a great push off of the rubber, but it seemed to be lowering his whole frame in his approach to the mound causing his fastball to dart low and moer importantly, giving a better view for the better.

Despite the mechanical problems, which resulted in two walks, Papelbon still battled through it and was able to finish off Cuddyer and the Twins almost exclusively on fastballs (the one split-fingered fastball was a wild pitch that travelled 58-feet before demolishing the dirt in front of the plate).

The news was not all bad: afterall, the Red Sox did get the win, Hideki Okajima came on to relieve John Lackey and got out of a bases loaded jam by forcing a pop-up out of the dangerous Justin Morneau, and Papelbon, despite having B- stuff on the mound, recorded the save without allowing a run.

It may have been ugly, but the Red Sox pulled out the win, and if its going to take ugly wins to get the ball rolling for the Red Sox, then the Sox will take all the ugly they can get. Plus, they are already well acquianted with ugly... they have Kevin Youkilis don't they?

This Feels Familiar

Sox Bullpen Blows Another One

In movie theaters right now you can check out "Hot Tub Time Machine," and if you get NESN or know anyway to watch or listen to Red Sox baseball, you can tune into "Red Sox Bullpen Time Machine." Watching the Red Sox right now is like taking a time machine back to the 1990's and the years of the bullpen by committee.

The Red Sox are 1-3, and last night spoiled another great effort by a starter, this time though it was an old face, a very, very, very old face the bullpen collapsed for. With his first knuckleball to David DeJesus in the bottom of the first inning, Tim Wakefield became the oldest starting pitcher in Red Sox history (43 years, seven months and seven days to be exact).

The knuckleballer who was born on August 2, 1966, has been the model of consistency for the Red Sox. Whenever he steps on the mound I always pencil him in for six innings, and three to five runs.

More times than not he proves me wrong; like last night's outing where he went seven innings, striking out six and only making two mistakes: a 73 mph four seamer in the sixth to Billy Butler that was nothing more than a batting practice pitch, which Butler kindy deposited into the left field stands, and the next pitch, a 63 mph knuckleball to Rick Ankiel (yes, that Rick Ankiel) which landed fair and in the bleachers down the right field line.

Besides those two pitches Wakefield was phenomenal; he allowed just those two runs through his seven innings, and most importantly, only needing 98 pitches to do so. That is now two strong starts in a row for Red Sox pitching; Wakefield's performance came on the heels of a six-inning shutout performance by John Lackey who needed 100 pitches to do so.

With the travel day between games the Red Sox bullpen did not need the help, at least that's what the common consensus was until the Red Sox bullpen took the ball in the eighth.

Holding on to the 3-2 lead Hideki Okajima allowed a leadoff double, but got the next batter out when Terry Francona called on Daniel Bard to get the final two outs. Bard allowed a walk, got the next out, and with runners on second and third allowed a broken bat single to Ankiel who sawed the pitch into left and the lackluster arm of Jacoby Ellsbury.

Just like that a 3-2 lead turned into a 4-3 deficit and a great pitching performance by the oldest starting pitcher in Red Sox history, vanished. It was the bullpen's third straight loss (second straight blown save for Daniel Bard) and stopped Wakefield from gaining his 190th win (176th win the Red Sox), which would put him just 16 wins shy of the all-time Red Sox record owned by Roger Clemens and Cy Young.

But most importantly, that third straight loss by the bullpen is harkening back images (nightmares?) of the days of Heathcliff Slocumb and the Bullpen by Committee when Red Sox fans knew that they were in for a roller coaster ride once the starter was out. The problem here is hard to grasp; Francona has two legitimate set-up men in Okajima and Bard, but right now he has them splitting the eighth, and it just seems that both are uncomfortable knowing that neither owns the inning and that at the slightest trouble, one will go in for the other.

The Red Sox most impressive bullpen season in recent memory was in 2007 when it was Okajima in the eighth and Papelbon in the ninth, and until this question of "who owns the eighth?" is resolved, you can be assured the bullpen struggles will continue.

No matter "whodunit" in the latest bullpen collapse of this very early season, the saddest thing is to see another chance at history dance away from Tim Wakefield and the Red Sox. Here's to hoping that the man who has done everything for the Red Sox over the past 16 years starts to get some help from his bullpen... Oh yeah, one more thing; did we mention he has 22 saves as a Red Sox pitcher?